C.A.B.I.N. F.E.V.E.R.

It is a real deal my friends. And prior to living in snow country, I can’t really say I believed it was a thing.

Some may laugh when I say that S.A.D.-Seasonal Affective Disorder is truly something you can experience. The Mayo Clinic defines it as “a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you’re like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody. Less often, SAD causes depression in the spring or early summer.”

Now I am not a doctor or even remotely claim to be one, but what I do know is that, myself personally, I have struggled with beating the winter blues. And I am sure my fellow cold country ladies can share in the sentiment. It’s cold. Frozen. Wet. Muddy. Hard on cattle and livestock. And just plain lonely. And usually by February, the sun will pop out, but for whatever reason this year, January has extended itself another 30 days.

Last year, January 2018, was a very very tough month for me. I found myself wanting to “run away” from it all. After avoiding a year of struggling with coming to terms that this was our new life, that life looked quite different than it used too, I was no longer a teacher (something I had based my identity on), navigating who this new person I was supposed to be, it was tough. And I think this is sometimes all too often a subject we don’t talk about. We find ourselves embarrassed that we feel this way. Instagram and Facebook let us share our highlight reals of life. The filtered perfect moments. But life is anything but perfect. It is messy. And that is more than ok too.

I would be lying to say that it was an easy transition for me when we moved to Nevada. And come that January, I think the real reality hit me. You see, I am a master at the art of distraction. I have come accustomed to “Being Busy”. And when I was an ag teacher, I didn’t have to “be busy” I just was ridiculously busy. And sometimes the slow down we need to be still and intentional, isn’t even what we know we need. And if you are anything like me, sometimes you fight it, like a colt does come time to be halter broke.

Insert Jessie. Insert a huge struggle of overwhelming emotions I had NO idea what to do with. Insert exactly what I needed. And though that season was excruciating. I can honestly say, I wouldn’t do it any different. I needed it. And I hope sharing about it may help someone who is going through it too.

January is a tough month to begin with. We come off a 3 month high of holidays, family, company, twinkly lights, distractions, sugar coma etc. And after the end of a house full of people for months, I found myself in January, completely lonely, no sunshine, frozen ground, and cooped up with a flood of emotions, I hadn’t dealt with for years. And to be 100% honest, as hard as this is to write, I am not the kindest person to myself when I am in these states. In fact, I am my own worst critic- something I am working on! And I don’t do “ALONE” well. I was used to a classroom full of kiddos, 8 days of work in a 7 day week, and a FFA calendar 3 pages long-so to say I was ever alone, would be far from the truth. But what this alone-ness has caused me to do, is self reflect on all the things I missed out on while I was in a season of “BUSY”. And that my friend is a blog already written that I have yet to muster the courage up to share. But I will. It’s healing to share our stories.

So since last January, I have been putting a lot of effort into self- help, self- care, self-whatever you want to call it. And I am NOT a doctor, therapist, or anything of the sorts. But I am a human. And I know what it feels like to feel alone and crummy. I can relate to being TOO far from town and the weather too horrible to drive in. I know what it feels like to not even know who you are. I know what it feels like to be spinning your wheels in meaningless-ness (but I have learned, nothing is ever for nothing 🙂 ) And so I made a promise to myself last year, that if I was going to be kind to others, I needed to start with being kind to myself. And I was going to show up for others as the person I needed in that season.

Jenna Kutcher talks about the power of 1, and even if this only helps one person, that warms my heart. Because I know, one person last year told me, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. She may never know how much that simple text message saved me in that moment.

So here are some things I have done that have helped ME! And they are in no particular order but things I get up EVERYDAY and practice. Some days are better than others. And some days I have to work harder at it than other days. But everyday, one foot in front of the other in practice to living a healthier more balanced life. That is all we can do. Show our self some grace, show up every day, and get on with our bad selves!

Tips To Beating the Winter Blues

1. Take time everyday for yourself. For me this has been in the form of reading. Whether it be a motivational book or the bible, I read. Something I never MADE the time for before. Some books that have helped me: “Grace not Perfection” “You’re a Badass” “Girl, Wash Your Face” “High Performance Habits”
2. Move Dat Body! And this is so hard when it’s -3, but ladies it really does help. I try and do at home workout videos. There are so many on YouTube or Pinterest. And when the sun is out, even if I have to bundle up, I go outside. Whether it is to just do chores or sneak a walk in. Any type of movement help. Heck, jump in the feed truck with your Cow Boss and feed cows. Get out! Move!
3. Just write it out. For me, this has been tremendous. Beings that we moved away from all our family and friends and life we knew, the loneliness for me was real. Not so much anymore, but at first YES. So writing about it has helped me get the sadness of it out. Whether it be letters to yourself, starting a blog, or just journaling. Put that pen to paper.
4. Be Kind, and I mean to yourself. Treat yourself how you would treat your best friend in your shoes. This has been a tough one for me. Write yourself a few post-its with positive vibes. And READ them everyday. The other thing Brendon Burchard talks about in “High Performance Habits” is start with gratitude. When we are in a state of thankfulness it’s hard to be grumpy and hating. I made something for you! Below is handout I use EVERYDAY for thankfulness. Write it out or just go over it in your head, in the shower, driving to work or while drinking your coffee. It truly helps, and when I get super negative, I stop myself in the middle of the day and will do it again.
5. Pray, meditate, or whatever other centering exercise you need. For me I pray. It helps me gain perspective. This my friends is the real deal. Whether you see the glass as half empty or half full, the glass still has the same volume of water. And as Megan Arneson helped me tremendously, as a life coach, we too can truly create the feelings and emotions we want. All we have to do is change the way we “think” about them. BAM! P.E.R.S.P.E.C.T.I.V.E.
6. Repeat after me…… “THIS IS JUST A SEASON” When life gets to spinning out for me, this is the one mantra I repeat. Because it is so true. Nothing lasts forever. And though in the moment it seems unbearable, a year from now you will look back and be thankful it happened. Deep breath in, deep breath out. A year ago you were wishing and praying for what you have today. “THIS IS JUST A SEASON”!
7. Laugh! Need I say more. I know this seems cliche, but whether it is a phone call, face-to-face- or movie, find a little laughter in life. Don’t take things too serious and allow yourself to laugh.
8. ASK FOR HELP! This one is tough for me. But even if it is just bending a friends ear. Talking, sharing, and asking for help is OK. And even if it means reaching out for professional help, there is absolutely no shame in that. In fact it shows courage, and you my friend and stronger than you know.
9. BREATHE! Take a few DEEP breaths. Stop, pause, close your eyes and fill your lungs with air. Boy this has been huge. When I pause and breathe, I also think about how my best self would handle the upcoming situation. It helps to put a little control back into my life and also gives me an opportunity to be intentional.

To my ranch wives, ranch ladies, ladies not in ranching, mothers, sisters, wives, or anyone just struggling, believe me when I say, I truly can feel what you are going through. I look back at the person I was over a year ago, and I just wish I could have given her a hug then. The same I am extending to you through this digital platform. And though the old me wants to rip her a new one for being so grumpy and ugly then. The “improving” me quiets that voice and tells her, it too was a season, though it was painful, you made it. Forgive yourself, just like you would do for others. You are stronger than you know, far more fierce than you give yourself credit for, and deserve all the grace you share with others.

I can humbly say, I am more blessed to have gone through it. It has given me a reason and calling. It has shed light on so many other areas of my life I was just too “busy” to reflect on. It has once again shown me, this too shall pass, and I WILL survive. And looking back, I wouldn’t have it any other way. There is something about winter that can feel long and lonely, but my promise to you- winter is a season. It will be gone before you know it. And then will come Spring, sun, warm weather, and all the feels. Hang in there my friend, you’ve got this. And even when you are feeling like you don’t, remember you aren’t alone. We are all somewhere in this messy, crazy, journey called life- TOGETHER.

Journaling Worksheet